Yesterday I started this account with wordpress, and then I started wondering what exactly I would be writing about. Writing has always been an interest of mine, but I’ve never been disciplined enough to just write.
Being disciplined is something that has never been my forte. Growing up in a repressive evangelical Christian school discipline was required, or at least the facade of discipline. I always preferred rebellion. Sometimes the rebellion is subtle other times it is right out in the open, depending on the circumstance, and I’m not always good at selecting which one is most appropriate.
So if I’m told to write every day, my first thought is, “that rule applies to everyone else…not me.” On second glance and if I dig deeper, maybe it’s not rebellion. Maybe it’s fear. Fear that I won’t do it right, fear that people won’t like it, fear that I’ll be no good.
So today I started writing early, before my first cup of coffee is through, before the fear voice has a chance to fully wake up. Call it a quiet rebellion against my own shortcomings.