Transforming: Day 19


One of Murphy’s laws is anything that can go wrong will go wrong. It’s a motto that I like to throw around to describe incidents that gunk up my relatively charmed life.

Anything that Can Go Wrong--Will

Yesterday, one of those incidents appeared on Beth’s head.  Beth has been concerned about this “tumor” that she felt on the top of her skull.  She’s been afraid that it is a melanoma and went to the dermatologist today.  But when we talked about it yesterday, she was sure of what it was, and that it wasn’t good.  For those of you who don’t know my wife has a keen intuition.  Some may say she’s a white witch.  She just knows things.  So after I look at it, and then she tells me what she thinks–we both are assuming the worst. 

Finding cancer

This sends me on an information spiral.  I’m trying to find a pic of this thing online to disprove our home diagnosis.  With each click, the knot in my stomach got tighter and tighter.  Im’ reading information from the mayoclinic website, hoping to either find some glimmer of information or image that will alleviate the way that I’m feeling.  Beth comes up to me and sees what I’m doing and she tells me that she’s done all of the research, and that most say cases of melanoma on the head or neck have a higher fatality rate than others.  Glibly she looks at me and says, “so we’ve had a good run; it’s been nice knowning you.”  Now I know we’re in trouble.  She’s trying to make jokes about it–she has already lost her mind.

 I’m Worst Case Scenarioing (my word) like crazy.  

Survival guide for life

In the course of 15 minutes I believe I lived through all of the pain that would come with a positive diagnosis.  The last thing I could ever imagine is that this wonderful woman who has been a part of my life since my teenage years could be gone–Again, Worst Case Scenario. 

One of my reason’s for improving my health and strength is so that I will have more time to spend with her, and now that could be all taken away by something smaller than a dime.  Murphy’s law.

This morning, I woke up not really wanting to exercise.  I would have rather worried.  That didn’t happen, however, I completed the circuit today doing 45 total pushups and 10-12 reps of each exercise using the 15 lb weights. 

Beth had her appointment this morning and within a few minute the doctor had let her know that it was a noncancerous growth.  She told me how she almost began crying when he said this.  He did find a precancerous growth that he removed as well.  So this negative instance became a life-saving positive.  And we are able to keep going–together. 

And I wouldn’t want it any other way. 

T-71 days and counting

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