Transforming: Day 32

One standard deviationThroughout my life I’ve always felt like a bit of a late bloomer. When saying “a bit” is really to make myself feel better because with a few things I was definitely at the bottom of the curve.

A few examples:
1. Swimming. I was afraid to learn to swim for most of my childhood. I’d run around in the 3′ end of the pool, I’d go under

This guy can swim!

water but I wouldn’t venture off to where my feet wouldn’t touch for fear that I would drown. Here’s the beauty of it, my mom coached swimmers and I was refusing to be taught, but I loved pretending I was Aquaman walking around in the 3′. By the time I was 10-11 my mom took me to the Y and placed ms in beginning swimming. I was like Gulliver surrounded by Lilliputians. I did learn how to swim during that class, and it wasn’t because I didn’t know how. I simply lacked the confidence in myself.

2. It seemed like I was waiting forever for hair to grow on my legs. In middle school there’d be those guys who where already shaving, but the husky Irish boy was still ruddy and smooth. It seemed like it took forever and combine that with being husky and it made me feel like I didn’t belong.  Needless to say a few of my friends would argue that I’m still waiting for leg hair.

3. The lack of self confidence in both my abilities and appearance kept me from really playing a sport in high school. Until my senior year when I played both soccer and basketball. Both coaches at the time believed in me and wanted to give me a confidence boost.

So  I didn’t peak in High school. Maybe that’s a good thing. In college I really began to hit my stride, and when I look back on it now the times that I felt the most like myself was when I was surrounded with a group of diverse friends. We kept each other honest–challenging one another to some degree.

After college I got married and settled into a career at teaching at a christian high school. Much like the one that I came from. I thought I was going back to give back and improve the community I came from, but perhaps there was also that fear of the deep end. I stayed in that shallow end for over a decade. Easily walking through. The job life was easy but the financial was difficult. I was asking my family to risk and sacrifice so that I could stay safe–not cool.

So when our second was to be born I left the shallow end and went to public school. I felt like I was in college again. All sorts of different people with various takes on things. It was energizing, and in a short time I felt like my confidence was up. I was hitting my stride once again.

So here we are now in my 40s, and I’m finally getting around to addressing the body issues I’ve had my whole life. I’m ready and it’s time. At first it appears that I’m late, but maybe the timing is right on.

I felt great through all of my cardio today. And during the ab ripper I found myself smiling after completing each set because I was proud of myself.

Took pics yesterday, and I can definitely see the addition of muscle. My oldest daughter said that it looked like my arms and chest were photoshopped onto my body. So I’ve got that going for me. The stomach is changing shape as well; there is some definition forming underneath. LOL.

T-58 days.

Next week we leave for Disney world. Any thoughts for exercising at the park?


One thought on “Transforming: Day 32

  1. So proud of you! You definitely have a winner in Beth (I’ve been reading for awhile…just not commenting) but Jason and I always believed that. 🙂 Love how you are blasting through destructive lies and misconceptions and re-discovering the strengths that has always been there.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s