Yesterday I had mentioned having a “Why” for working out and exercising. And I have to admit, and I’m sure this is true for everyone, there’s a selfish element for simply looking better/different than I did before.
Currently I am in the low 2teens. My doctor feels that the low 200’s is my “fighting weight.” I would love to lose this baker’s dozen of pounds and venture into the world of 100’s. It’s strange even typing that because, when I think of myself I don’t think fit.
And that is probably because I grew up in a situation where negative things were always pointed out and positive things were never truly acknowledged–it was almost as if positive was status quo and negative was the nail that stuck out and needed to be hammered.
Which is why when I look at myself in the mirror I still see the handles and I focus on that and I forget about the accomplishments that I’ve had this past year–as if they are the status quo.
This is one family legacy that I hope to break! I want to point out the positive even more and let the girls know that they are doing a great job or even when they are simply trying something new!
Believe me, I’m not going to go an easier on them (sorry Bez) but I am going to remind them that they are special and important to me as often as I can, so that I don’t end up like my own father, who has the hardest time saying he loves us with welling up with tears.
Jillian yelled at me today, “Change doesn’t come without hard work!”
Truer words have never been spoken. Many things in my life come easy–eating being one of them. I think there are still a few food suitcases that I need to unpack; I’m hoping this summer I mighth be able to finally get to them.
It’s going to require hardwork, but thankfully this wolf is not alone. I’ve got a Pack of family and friends that are willing to listen to my whining, celebrate my successes, and mourn my losses. The beautiful thing is that I know that I am not alone in any of this, and as Ned Stark would say, “the lone wolf cannot survive for long without the Pack.”
I apologize for the randomness of the blog this morning, but it’s been an emotional week at Murphy’s alley. Thankfully, I started this exercise program which I believe helped me transcend much of the drama and yet be present in it. Also, even though I wanted to, I didn’t turn to food like I used to because I reached out to those around me whom I trust and was rewarded. Sometimes, most of them, I internalize and go it alone (another legacy) and that’s a recipie for a fat wolf!