Yesterday I was supposed to begin day 16, which would have been my first experience with disc #4 of the first month workout. My plans were going to be interrupted, however, by life getting in the way.
Yesterday morning, which is the time that typically do my workout, I was loading
boxes and furniture in order to help my parents move out of their apartment in my house and into a newly rennovated condominium.
The last month has been anxious for my parents as they start this new adventure; Bez and I have been feeling their anxiety and coupling it with our own stress about their new living situation and all the question marks that go with it.
After they were loaded and on their way, Bez and I hard to get ready to go to karate for our weekly class. Karate has been another source of stress lately. Bez and I are supposed to be testing for our black belt later this year. For the last three years we’ve been working up this experience. But in the last month, however, there have been whispers of changes affecting how the test is going to be administered and evaluated.
There have been two great stresses with this situation. The first is the people who are doing the whispers. We have not heard a word about changes from either of the people who run the dojo, but from those that help out–each person putting a slightly different slant on the delivery and/or editting pieces as they go.
The second stress comes from the fact that for the last three years we’ve been instructed in a certain way and style, and now they want to alter the style in order to alter the style and administration of the test. Now for those who still have another year until their test, this would not be an issue, but for those of us who have less than 4 months this is a problem.
This offends so many of the educational principles that I have based my career on these 20 years, but I think the thing that bothers me the most is the lack of information regarding the change. If the change is to be important and meaningful to all, we need to buy into it–have ownership of it–believe that it is for our best. Right now, I’m not there, because the person who I believe should be sharing/selling this information is not doing so.
And even after speaking with people about it, I am told that this is just the way sensai is. Details aren’t important to him. To which I’d like to say–I’m a detail.
And each time I walk into the dojo now, whether it be for our class or one of the girls, I am reminded of this and it annoys me. The devil is in the details. When I set up a crime scene for a classroom, I have to attempt to think of the various things that can go wrong, or how the students could try to work around what I’ve given them. If I just did an activity for activity’s sake, then I would not care about how they got there–just as long as they completed it.
So between the move and karate my mindset was not prepared for dealing with Jill. Combine that with the fact that Bez and I kept discussing ways could use the new space for our family.
Today, however, was a different story. Last night I had moved our workout gear from the third floor to the first, co-opting part of the apartment my parents had in our house.
Disc 4 got popped into the player and the game was afoote. Before I knew it 30 minutes had gone by. Jillian had threatened, cajoled and encouraged me through the half hour and all the while I felt strong and capable. I felt like this could be done.
This feeling of strength started Friday. After feeling “schooled” by Jillian, her words still rang true in my mind.
“Make the most of this time and push yourself beyond your comfort zone.”
So while at karate, we were asked to do one-legged pushups. Typically, I’d phone it in, but I decided to DO instead of be comfortable. And the thing was–I was doing them, and I wasn’t dying or even really in pain (much).
So I took that strength of mind into today’s workout. The first thing JIllian said was, “Welcome back to another day of me beating your ass!” It’s tough love and it felt great. Before I knew it, the workout was over. Afterward, my daughter Leah asked me how the workout went, and I had to tell her, “Great!” She looked at me eyes wide, “you’re not to sore or tired?” I smiled and told her, “yeah, both of those things, but I’m strong enough to handle it.”
She just smiled and gave me a thumbs up. If that’s not a “why” I don’t know what is!